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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."

"Me: ""Can I put this sweatshirt in the dryer?"" Wife: ""Well, what does it say on it?"" Me: ""Buffalo Sabres."" Wife: ""You're an idiot"""

"Torque is like drugs It makes everything spin around."

"Billy Joel was hospitalized last week. He had a heart attack ack ack ack ack ack. You oughtta know by now."

"What does Harry Potter say when he walks into a bar? I Expectsum Patronum"

"Two guys were playing a game.... Guy 1 says ""Game"" Guy 2 lost the game You're guy 2 You lost the game"

"Q. What do you call 1000 heavily armed lesbians? A. Militia Etheridge"

"I'm pretty happy that human skin isn't see-through."

"What kind of bee can you milk? A boobie.."

"Why was the glow worm unhappy ? Because her children weren't that bright !"