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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather Says I should not be so Dependent upon technology... ...Yet he is the one hooked to life support."

"What is an office gossip's favorite tool? A spreadshit, of course."

"I don't date because I have a very particular type Girls that like me"

"My life is just like Rihanna's new song. Work work work work work and the rest I can't really understand!"

"Is it appropriate to force an adult to wear diapers? Depends."

"I'm a simple man *bites a pinecone* I enjoy simple things *tosses a gun into a lake* that's why I decided to let these bees live in my skull"

"I text my wife tonight, ""Honey, I'm going to stay in the bar another hour with my friends for another pint..."" ""...if I'm not back in an hour then read this message again."""

"Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund."

"What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You gotta sit in the back of the oven..."

"Why do sharks circle their prey? ""dad, why do the sharks swim in circles like that before they eat someone?"" ""it makes them taste better, son."" ""taste better? How? "" ""it scares the shit out of them."""