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Joke of the Day

"TIL that in the PC version of GTA V there's a new keyboard shortcut which when you press it will cause your character to kill minorities Alt+Right"

"What do you call a mad lunch? Hater-tots"

"TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy... for boarding the wrong vessel... just once Whoops, wrong *sub*."

"My girlfriend was just about to eat my extra long sausage But then I caught the fat bitch"

"A man is knocked out during a robbery.His wife and children are brutally murdered- Pixar: Gee it's kinda dark ...Ok a FISH is- Pix: YES."

"My daughter swam with dolphins for $2,000. I think she should've been able to have sex with them for that price."

"When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called? Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway."

"What do 7 out of 8 people enjoy? Gang rape."

"If I ever opened a store that sold goats, I would call it Burlington Goat Factory"

"While climbing barefoot up mountains to meditate, Ghandi would squeeze garlic into his mouth to deal with hunger pains from fasting super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis"