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Joke of the Day

"TIL you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy... for boarding the wrong vessel... just once Whoops, wrong *sub*."

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"What's another name for a boxy plow pulling baby maker? A Mexican. Make America great again! Vote the Donald!"
"[Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes"
"Hi, I'd like to order a baby ""Excuse me?"" It says here you deliver babies? ""Sir this is a hospital"" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]"
"Persuading girl into having sex with you is like spreading the butter on a toast. It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife."
"Why don't you ever see any Muslim methheads? They all just get stoned instead."
"Pizza delivery guy showed up. Gave me 3 pizzas, and had me sign the credit card receipt. I gave him a $500 tip. I didn't order any pizza."
"Anti-joke Knock knock Who's there? No"
"Sports: The legal way to buy a black person."
"Best part about my homeless girlfriend.... she lets me play with her sweet cans"
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