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Joke of the Day

"When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called? Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway."

Next Joke
 
"When I was young I had to go to walking school. It was tough. They really put you through your paces there"
"What's a pirate's favorite Antivirus? Avast."
"Q: What kind of floor do dinosaurs' bathrooms have? A: Rep-tiles."
"People think Jesus was so great... But all he did was give fish to a thousand people.   You forget that Hitler made 6 million people toast."
"My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.... She's inflatable."
"5k mud runners I hate people that brag about paying $ to run a 5k race in mud. Big deal cause in Africa, that's called Wednesday."
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buck an ear"
"Baby, you've bought yourself a cruise on the Love Boat. I'll be your captain."
"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."