194063

Joke of the Day

"Your Honor it was an accident! I had to run into the fence to keep from hitting the cow! Was it a Jersey cow? I don't know I didn't see her license plate!"

Next Joke
 
"WIFE: don't be weird at the party tonight ME: am i ever weird? [dinner party] CHERYL: how's the soup taste? ME: like the blood of my enemies"
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? ""ghughgugjjch"""
"11:30 - Sit on toilet, open Twitter. 11:54 - Try to stand, fall to floor with numb legs. 11:55 - Get comfortable on floor, open Twitter."
"Girls always think I'm ugly until they see what's in my bank account Then they think I'm ugly AND poor"
"What app do you use to browse Reddit on your phone? 9gag"
"How many white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? Pshh....white girls don't know how to screw."
"Next time you're not feeling hungry, tell yourself you're going on a diet in an hour & you'll unleash the starving African child inside you."
"Satan was all alone with Eve, NAKED, at the forbidden tree and all he did was to convince her to eat a fruit? GAY."
"Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally."