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Joke of the Day

"John! Do you see that guy over there?? John : Yeah? Peter : He is gay John : oh....really ?? How do you know that??? Peter : His dick tastes like poop"

"[pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*"

"ACHOO! Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."

"Is there a way to make a hamburger do the Hula? Sure order a burger and a shake!"

"A robot goes to see a psychiatrist... ""Just because my intelligence is artificial doesn't mean that my problems aren't real."""

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? Your job sucks"

"What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant? ""Donkey!"" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work."

"My friends definitely cannot handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times carrying me out of the bar"

"why didn't the rabbit like his beer? not enough hops"

"Have you ever considered shaving that beard and gluing it to your bald spot? ... Oh! You meant a question about the job position!"