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Joke of the Day

"Lunch Me and the girlfriend went out for lunch today. Money is a bit tight so after the meal she said ""lets go Dutch"". I said ""Fook that lets go Greek"" and we both legged it"

Next Joke
 
"I want to tell a Moses joke... but I haven't chosen one."
"I was going to tell a gay joke But fuck it"
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"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. She thinks to herself, 'Some asshole's got my pen.'"
"What did the motivational speaker say to the duct? You conduit!"
"So I was sentenced to death by hanging... but my execution is being suspended temporarily."
"Jesus: *turns water into wine* Me: nice Me: *turns a steak into a cheesesteak* Jesus: *whispering under his breath* holy shit"
"I want that ""Damn you are still together?"" Relationship!"
"I wish there was a ""skip this ad"" button that I could use when talking to annoying people in real life."