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Joke of the Day

"I realized I needed an altitude adjustment... ...so I booked the next flight out of town."

"Pornstars would make pretty good lawyers... People wouldn't mind getting fucked by them!"

"What do you call a cardboard belt? A waist of paper. -- ^(Credit: Shadow Warrior fortune cookie)"

"How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany? Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss."

"I just saw the movie 50 Shades of gray You could say it had a huge climax."

"I once saw a midget goalie play 10 consecutive games in a row. After the games I asked if he was sore, and he said ""I'm a little tender""."

"A mother walked in to find her son playing with his privates. ""Oh dear..."" ""...those toy soldiers were supposed to be a surprise!"""

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ."

"What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion."

"My friend said he had a hole in his sock. I replied, ""Darn it!"""