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Joke of the Day

"Teachers call it ""Going to the bathroom"". We call it ""I'm bored, I'm gonna go wander around school."""

"Q: What is the only thing worse than an incompetent liberal President? A: A competent liberal President."

"Based on my family's hatred for vegetables and always throwing them in the garbage, I hope I'm never in a coma."

"How do you endanger the fly species? Slap an African child."

"Are you a Carbon sample? Because I want to *date* you."

"""son, did i ever tell you about how I served in Nom?"" ""dad, don't you mean Nam?"" ""sorry son i ate a small cake at the end of that sentence"""

"There are several factors when talking about the meaning of life. 2, 3, and 7"

"Little kid making faces at you from his bus window? Follow him home and make faces through his window at night."

"I get wetter as you get dryer. What am I? A necrophiliac."

"Three mods walk into a bar... [deleted]"