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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the blond who got pregnant? She wasn't sure if the baby was hers!"

"Did you know that diarrhea is genetic... Yea, it runs in your genes."

"I got my head cut off [removed]"

"1. Sits in the bedroom 2. Doesn't leave the house 3. Doesn't go out with freinds My childhood punishments are my adult hobies "

"An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid."

"In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women: 1.) ""No"" means no 2.) ""Maybe"" means no 3.) ""Yes"" means maybe"

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your girl back, you get your truck back, you may even get your dog back."

"I've been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions."

"Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army? I heard he was diploid. (I'll show myself out...)"

"I always enjoy sharing old memories with the @sshole from my old high school... while he is ringing up my groceries."