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Joke of the Day
"What did one casket say to the other? ""Is that you coffin?"""
Next Joke
"TIL the excuse the US Marine used in May 1943 after accidentally friendly fire'ing a British U-boat. Woops, wrong sub."
"Unshakable Fact # 4 Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was killed by the woman's husband."
"What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross."
"WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it..."
"Isaac Newton's friend was 16 minutes late the first time they met. At their second meeting, the friend was 8 minutes late. At this rate, said Newton, ""you'll never be on time."""
"I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it."
"What do you get when you cross a horse, an elephant, and a rhino? Helephino."
"I'm half Muslim I'm only entitled to 36 virgins"
"My mother in law:did you put the weight on? Me:no...actually I've lost some. You should have seen me month ago. I looked like you"