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Joke of the Day

"I'm not convinced faith can move mountains, but I know what it can do to skyscrapers. (Come on, it's been 15 years.)"

"Two mental health counselors happen to meet each other at the mall... *""You seem fine!""*, says one to the other, *""How am I?""*"

"Hey stupid & ugly people that are brimming with self confidence. What meds are you on? I want some."

"Of ten puns, how many won? No pun in ten did."

"I was proud and surprised when my wife gave birth... But deep down, I knew she had it in her."

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing."

"Told to me by my 8 year old daughter: Knock knock. Who's there? Awkward silence. Awkward silence who? ... I see what you did there..."

"Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? The 'p' is silent"

"I just said ""Who's a little biscuit!"" to a puppy tied to a signpost outside a cafe & a homeless guy a few feet away said ""I am."""