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Joke of the Day

"Well, I'm moving to Thailand. There's a small village there named Phucket that really speaks to me on a spiritual level."

"Reddit is a lot like my fridge. I check it constantly, even though I know nothing has changed."

"*rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume."

"Joseph: A crib full of straw? No, I asked to see the MANAGER."

"My Favorite Anti Why was the Black Jew mad? He had to sit at the back of the gas chamber."

"Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow."

"How are condoms like cameras? They capture your special moments."

"New Year's Eve probably sucks for Lance Armstrong... He can't enjoy watching the ball drop."

"""No, there's no way!"" I totally could ""No you couldn't!"" *slams the rest of his beer* I can and I will -the first guy to ride an ostrich"

"I just solved all my problems I just pretented it wasn't happening, and I instantly felt better."