112999

Joke of the Day

"Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow."

"I once met an Indian bloke in Birmingham and his name was Naan. He wasn't born here, but he was bread."

"WIFE: He's just so distant lately ME [skywriting]: U N T R U E"

"Tonight playing poker with a buddy he said ""Care to make this interesting?"" And I said ""Sure. For years I've been secretly in love with you"""

"29 and 30 had a fight. 31."

"Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Apes during World War Two? Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!"

"How do you combat espionage? Umbreonage"

"An actual quote by President George Bush ""The problem with the french is that they don't have a word for entrepreneurs"""

"So, on July 4th, one of the hottest days of the year, we're all going to sit outside of our air-conditioned homes and cook over a fire?"

"Did you guys hear the one about the mascara and the lipstick? The relationship was alright, but the make-up sex was amazing."