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Joke of the Day
"New Year's Eve probably sucks for Lance Armstrong... He can't enjoy watching the ball drop."
Next Joke
"Q: What is lemonade? A: When you help an old lemon across the street."
"A fish hits a wall ... Dam wall!!"
"Christmas comes earlier every year. There's 364 days until Christmas and my neighbors already have their lights up."
"Exclamation points are cocaine for sentences!"
"New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered. Lickalottapus."
"Hey, Dyson vacuum guy. You invented a previously existing invention. Relax."
"[LPT] When cleaning a messy room start with your bed, you will have a better sense of accomplishment when you eventually give up and sob uncontrollably."
"Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat."
"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2, but God knows how they got in there."