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Joke of the Day

"If I heard Matthew McConaughey only drank water out of a garden hose attached to the side of his house, I'd totally believe it."

"What has 7 arms and sucks? Def Leppard"

"Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because all of their runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in the United States."

"What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"His girlfriend returned all his letters. I bet she marked them ""second class male !"""

"What's the difference between a toilet and a sink? ... Aaaand you're not allowed in my house anymore."

"So I heard, that after a long debate, they finally announced the hide and seek champion of 2014. 1st place went to Malaysia Airlines Flight 370!"

"A battery's life sucks. You're either working or you're dead."

"A man walks into a bar. The impact gave him a concussion."

"Men are like cement. After getting laid they take a long time to get hard."