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Joke of the Day

"Pay me a complement. Wife: I look like a fat, ugly, wrinkly, pig, be a dear and pay me a complement Husband: Your eyesight's damn near perfect. Edit:Format"

"What limitations does braille have? Can it represent everything that we read using the alphabet? Very limited fonts."

"Santa has elves. America has China."

"What is a germans favorite passtime at a concert? They jump off the stage to go krautsurfing."

"What is an astronaut's favorite power tool? An orbital sander"

"Where did the one legged waitress work? IHOP"

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association!"

"I got a job at a circle making factory! Sadly, I was fired today because I was cutting corners"

"How long should you microwave fish for? Tuna half minutes."

"There's three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. Which one are you??"