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Joke of the Day
"Muhammad Ali's epitaph was revealed this morning. Ali ByeBye."
Next Joke
"The avengers walk into a bar Except vision. He phased."
"The seven dwarves were sitting around... The seven dwarves were sitting around feeling Happy. Happy left, then they were all fucking Grumpy."
"What kind of music do old people listen to Myback music. ill show myself out"
"I wore Pirates of the Caribbean pajama pants to the gym and ran backwards on the treadmill because I want a nickname there."
"Why are orphans terrible baseball players? They don't know where home is."
"In current news: US: Stop that Middle East: Stop what? US: That Middle East: This? US: Yes that Middle East: This? America: OMG STAAAHP"
"Resistance is not futile... It's voltage divided by current."
"My Somalian friend asked me the other day... If I had ever tried Somalian food. ""No, I've never had any,"" I said. ""That's all right,"" he said, ""neither have Somalians."""
"Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici meaning I came, I saw, I conquered. Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto: Veni, vidi, veni."