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Joke of the Day

"In current news: US: Stop that Middle East: Stop what? US: That Middle East: This? US: Yes that Middle East: This? America: OMG STAAAHP"

"The best part of finishing a long piece of writing is when the laptop hits your talentless loser foot as you boot it off a roof."

"Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results."

"How do you get a little old lady to yell the F word? Get another little old lady to yell ""Bingo!"""

"My Grandma's favorite saying Life is the ultimate disease. Its sexually transmitted and terminal."

"""Batman, we need your help in Brussels immediately."" ""Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."""

"How do people not know how to say their ABC's backwards. It's 3 fucking letters."

"Like most pale people I will be occupying the indoors this summer."

"Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?"