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Joke of the Day

"""Sir, you have to stop masturbating"" The nurse said. ""But why?"" The man asked ""Because I can't examine you while you're moving."""

"I think the most romantic thing a woman can do for a man on Valentine's Day is to have a vagina."

"What's Hillary's favorite pizza place? Little Seizures Edit: credit to Joe Biggs @rambobiggs"

"""Turtle Power"" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently."

"I was in work the other day when a stunning Thai girl walked in. She was gorgeous. all I could think was 'don't get a boner, don't get a boner, don't get a boner.' She *did*."

"Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilet stalls big enough to run around in."

"First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit."

"How do writers send e-mail? On the Inkernet."

"Who was the fattest Renaissance painter? Donutello * I love pun jokes give me some more"

"What did the big hairy monster do when he lost a hand? He went to the second-hand shop."