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Joke of the Day

"First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit."

"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."

"If You're Having Vocal Problems... ...I feel bad for you, son. I've got 99 problems, but my pitch ain't one. I apologize in advance."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Genocide."

"What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please."

"I can't believe the pharmacy hasn't called! ""Oh they did..3 or 4 days ago..I forgot to tell you. What's it's for anyway?"" Anxiety."

"What do you call a bunch of phones having sex? A 4G."

"I went to the doctor yesterday I told him my penis suddenly turned into a tiny green ball. He said I may have peacock syndrome."

"I tried to go to the brothel today but there was a sign on the door It said ""Beat it, we're closed."""

"""Let's eat, Pappy."" Not ""Let's eat Pappy."" Proof grammar saves lives."