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Joke of the Day

"First date: [ok, don't let her know you're a t-rex] Her: I absolutely love it when guys open the car door for me Me: Shit."

"What do a gang member and a redneck have in common? They both know how to throw a good hoe down."

"Imagine how quickly Breitbart would believe in climate science if they could use it to stop black people from voting."

"Find a penny, pick it up, all day long you'll have nothing but a gross penny you found in some filthy parking lot."

"Your love life"

"Social Justice Warriors are so sensitive that... Social Justice Warriors are so sensitive that they don't need a Large Hadron Collider to locate the Higgs-Boson Particle."

"Why did the man who stole my crops take aspirin? Because he had my grains"

"I may not be perfect, but at least I'm not fake."

"How does good deodorant smell? Odorable."