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Joke of the Day

"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan."

"What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? A private tutor (tooter) Heard it from a guy on the street selling newspapers in front of the art institute in chicago."

"The Fat Girl's Guide To The Zombie Apocalypse: If you see me running & there's no ice cream truck in front of me..you should run too."

"What are the three rings of Marriage? The Engagement Ring, The Wedding Ring, and The Suffer-ring."

"I just overheard a woman tell her son ""We don't lick other people, it's gross"" and now I'm reevaluating so many choices I've made."

"If you were a pizza... you'd be a pizza shit!"

"I found Korn in my poop. I'm glad it was Falling Away from Me instead of Coming Undone."

"What do you call a veal-birthing cow? De-calf"

"You're not a REAL American until you're at least 30 lbs overweight."

"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""