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Joke of the Day

"Beetlejuice 2 has been announced and is bringing Keaton back but without Winona... They were afraid she'd steal the show. /me drops the mic and walks off stage waving a pop tart"

"Who can beat any burger at golf? Any LINKS sausage!"

"No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I'd go on a road trip with my mom."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two! One to screw it in and one to suck my dick. *Drew Carey"

"How are relationships like algebra? You look at your X and try to find out Y"

"What's the easiest way to get laid? Crawl up a chickens ass and wait."

"Before I destroy a wasp's nest I like to capture a single wasp and tell it my entire diabolical plan."

"A: We are moving to nicer street B: So are we going to more peaceful one A: Really? You are moving too? B: No, we are staying"

"What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits? A cud thud!"

"Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal? Because she was scared of comet-ment"