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Joke of the Day

"I've always wanted to own a funeral home.... With the slogan, ""We love it when business is dead."""

"Which wrestler has the finisher that stings the most? Stone Cold Steve Irwin."

"The police get mad at you if you try to marry a squirrel. Even if you're pretty sure it's a girl squirrel."

"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day, your body rejected the transplant"

"If I'm introduced to a proctologist at a party ... ... do I shake his hand?"

"A skinny friend told me she's never hungry and just 'forgets to eat', so I drove her out to the woods and left her for dead. Is that wrong?"

"5: ""I went to Banana Land. The bananas danced & had flowers & tiny pandas on their heads."" Me: ""I'll have whatever that kid's having."""

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"SERIOUS WARNING! Do not go outside! On the 31st December around 11:59pm. Do not go outside your house otherwise chances are, you will not come back until next year!!! Please tell everyone u care for."

"Do you know the difference between a fart and a pun? A pun is a shift of wit."