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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks in a bar. A man notices that he has a wheel attached to his groin. He then asked the pirate , how can you live with that man? The Pirate replies Arrrghh! It drives me nuts!!!"

"I was carrying some spaghetti as I walked past a priest.. You could say I moved some pasta past a pastor."

"As a child my girlfriend loved train sets Most of my adult friends thinks its weird she still plays with them. I think it's perfectly normal for a 6 year old."

"Why can't accountants get library cards? They're book-keepers."

"People say I'm crazy because I don't enjoy spooning girls I much prefer knifing them."

"My 4 y/o doesn't realize that things in life have happened before his existence. I bet this is what life is like for Kanye. Let's be gentle."

"My wife just asked me why she came home to find marinara sauce all over our sleeping baby's head. Sorry babe, I'M NOT A DETECTIVE."

"Why did Hitler really kill himself because he couldn't pay his gas bill"

"Why did the communist Chinese government outlaw Viagra? They didn't want the people to have free elections."

"I once made a belt out of herbs. It wasn't very useful and just ended up being a waist of thyme."