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Joke of the Day

"I just saved a bunch of money by not paying any bills cuz I don't have a job."

"When does a fuckboy become a fuckman? At his bar mitzfuck."

"You ever stick your dick in pecan pie? It's fucking nuts."

"Two fish swim into a wall One looks at the other and says *""Dam!""* #oldbutgold"

"No one realizes when someone says, ""The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,"" that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it."

"""Don't believe everything you read"" is the best motto I've ever read. But I'm not sure if I should believe it or not. I'm so confused now."

"Why did Bob get 'Emo' Grass for his lawn? Because it cuts itself."

"What's a pedophile's favorite pair of shoes? White Vans."

"I love vending machines because I can see exactly where my food is coming from."

"How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos."