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Joke of the Day

"No one realizes when someone says, ""The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,"" that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it."

"People that over-exaggerate are the absolute worst."

"I told my paralyzed girlfriend I was leaving her... She couldn't stand to see me go..."

"A witticism of timely and international-political import. Knock Knock. Who's there? Crimea Crimea Who? Crimea River instantrimshot.com"

"Groundhog Day The Groundhog saw dead people, so we're due six more weeks of creepy Nationwide Commercials..."

"My cremated aunt used to give great advice. She always told me that you have to urn your place in life."

"Donald Trump is Anti-Immigration But ironically, if he wins... there will be a lot of Americans immigrating outta the country"

"I think marriage is probably like having a business partner. No that's not true, probably weird if your business partner takes your kids"

"What's the best thing about sex with 21-year-olds? There are 20 of them."

"Want to Read a Bad Joke? A bad joke."