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Joke of the Day

"How to get out of a bad date. 1. Pull fake baby out of your bag. 2. Tell your date to help pick a name. 3. Start taking family photos."

"This joke isn't half bad... It's two thirds bad :D"

"Do you know the difference between me and eggs? Eggs get laid."

"What's 6"" long, bent to the left, and in the front of my pants?? My iPhone 6."

"I was reading a newspaper, and the headline said,""America is without a leader!"" I said,""That's unpresidented!"""

"My boss asked me today which one of us was the stupid one. I told him everyone knows that you dont hire stupid people."

"My hot dislexic co-worker said she had an important massage to give me in her office... When I got there, she told me it can wait until I put on some clothes."

"When I hear commercials say ""win a trip for you and six friends"" I start counting to see if I have six friends."

"I can't stand people who are indirect You know who you are"

"Why can't leopards hide? Because they are always spotted!"