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Joke of the Day

"I had a racist incident in my kitchen today.... The black bean soup started dissing the white cream sauce, I finally told them both to simmer down."

"Little Johnny strikes again The teacher came up to johnny's desk and asked can you tell me what seperates you from a monkey. Johnny said with confidence ""the desk""."

"Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you'll never forget....."

"Why do bees hum They don't know the words"

"What is yellow and goes bzzzzzz? An electric banana."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I've never paid $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"So I, (male) have a Girlfriend with a schoolgirl fantasy... The only problem is...I fell uncomfortable wearing the dress. Stole from the office. S3E21"

"How does a Cub Scout become a Boy Scout? By eating a Brownie."

"Black Jews Whats the worst part of being a black jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven"

"Me: *crawls in window* Him: What are you doing?! Me: You're my boyfriend now? Him: I'm calling the cops Me: But you retweeted me??"