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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a girl from the Midwest to ""s"" your ""d""? Dip it in ranch."
Next Joke
"Lincoln cars can't turn left. They're all right, all right, all riiiggghhht"
"Someone stole your tiny Stradivarius? Aw, poor baby, I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you. It's, uh, a different one. Gotta go."
"I can't wait til my kids become adults so I can go over their houses & throw clean laundry all over the floor."
"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They'll just compliment it and get pissed when it wont screw."
"My dad once said 'why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids and not the other way around?' I still laugh..."
"What do you call your whore mother? NASS"
"What do you call a guy with no shins? Tony..... toe knee"
"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish.... And a Bass Pro Shop salesman will eat for a lifetime."
"What do Cooperstown and Woodstock have in common? Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen."