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Joke of the Day

"I wrote an essay once comparing various versions of the Bible. I had to do a lot of cross referencing."

"[rookie undercover] *walks up to dealer* ""yo you a cop"" um no ""hmm ok what you want"" EIGHT COCAINES PLEASE *gives thumbs up to chief in car*"

"""I'm telling you, it's all or nothing,"" the exterminator explains to Noah, ""I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."""

"What does the zero say to the eight? I like your belt. Ok, ok. I know it's elementary, but I still love it."

"RICK AND MORTY SEASON 3 RELEASED! Just not in this dimension.."

"JUDGE: I hereby sentence you t- PENGUIN COURT REPORTER: *angrily smashing keyboard with flippers* CAN YOU GUYS SLOW DOWN A BIT"

"Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"I like my women like I like my Poke Stops. Ready to go again in 5 minutes."

"What do you call a ghost without any feet? A lost sole"

"What's the difference between Mormons and non Mormons? The temperature of their caffeine"