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Joke of the Day

"I used to be addicted to the hokey-cokey But I turned myself around and that's what it's all about."

"A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy"

"Anyone else here able to spell ""condescending narcissist"" correctly on the first try? Yeah, I didn't think so."

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is."

"The life expectancy of reindeer is 8-10 years. We can stop singing about Rudolph now."

"(bad joke) What's the best vegetable for stepping on when you get out of the shower? A toe-mat-o."

"What a Chinese Restaurant Owner's Preferred License Plate? 888 MSG"

"What did the judge say when the defendant cause a ruckus in vegetable court? Bay leaf get him out if here!"

"Friend from out of town asked if he could crash on my couch. Had to explain to him that I'm married now, so that's where I sleep."

"Why didn't the USSR get anything done? They were Stalin"