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Joke of the Day
"she died doing what she loved: telling someone the difference between your and you're"
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"*becomes suddenly aware of the overwhelming amount of beauty and horror in the world and the brief second in time we exist on it* what the"
"How Did Norse Marsupials Write Their Sagas? In Kangarunes."
"A dark riddle. What has four limbs in the morning, two limbs in the afternoon, and is dead by evening? A disobedient slave."
"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."
"Q: Who has eight pistols and terrorizes the seas? A: Billy the Squid."
"Tryna get into bondage But I need someone to show me the ropes"
"Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it! Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all."
"A little boy went up to his father and asked, ""Dad, where did my intelligence come from?"" His father replied, ""well, son, you probably got it from your mom, because I still have mine."""
"Buddhist Monk sees kid in Nirvana t-shirt: ""You like Nirvana? What's your favorite step on the 8-fold Path?"" Kid: Nevermind ""Yeah, me, too."""