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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Look at the state of the school computer. I want that screen cleaned so I can see my face in it! Pupil: But then it will crack and we won't be able to use it at all."

Next Joke
 
"I think my coffee pot is an alcoholic It gets drunk at least once a day even when no one else is around"
"I wanna get Transitions Lens LASIK surgery, so that when I'm out in the sun my eyes go black and children will run away from me."
"What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse? He can't do 'top gear' anymore!"
"Heisenberg's wife was unhappy... because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad."
"Hey baby, You know how I know I'm getting laid tonight? I'm stronger than you."
"I went to the zoo - it only had one animal, a small dog. It was a shitsu"
"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to ""Dick"". Especially since his name is Steve."
"What do clothes and religion have in common? Someone invented them and forced them on everyone."
"Job interview What's your weakness?' Honesty.' I don't think honesty is a weakness.' I don't give a fuck what you think.'"