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Joke of the Day

"I stole a seat from an old man and he remarked, ""Chivalry is Dead"". I said, ""I'm sorry, I didn't know. He wasn't even trending on Twitter""."

Next Joke
 
"Every time I'm around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence."
"I'm ""don't flash your headlights at someone who doesn't have theirs on bc they will come and kill you"" years old."
"Q: What do you call an Oyster who is stuck in traffic? A: A PearlJam "
"We are gathered here today because SOMEBODY *glares at coffin* couldn't stay alive."
"If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy."
"Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now! Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?"
"I am not able to go to school today Son: I am not able to go to school today. Father: what happened? Son: I am not feeling well Father: Where you are not feeling well? Son: In school!"
"Just a reminder of what day is today.. 9/11"
"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up."