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Joke of the Day

"When the cashier asks for my signature, I just write ""HELP ME"" while maintaining eye contact"

"Where do you see yourself in 5 years? I don't know. I don't have 2020 Vision."

"The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart."

"I have this condition, I wake up at ten to nine every day... Doctor says it is nothing serious just a mild case of ten-to-ninetis."

"In Texas we pronounce it ""nu-que-lur"" I'm often harassed about how I pronounce nuclear but I think fair is fair. If Yankees can have silent letters I don't see how come we can't have invisible ones!"

"""Who'd win in a wresting match? Lemmy or God?"" ""Trick question. Lemmy IS God.""-Air Heads RIP Lemmy."

"Have you heard about the new Corduroy Pillow? It's been making headlines."

"What to Bill Cosby and Peter Pan have in common? Rufi-ooooooo!"

"Why does the US name Arkansas Arkansas Because Its Arkansas not YourKansas"

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to drink 200 cups of tea? He nearly drowned in his own tea pee"