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Joke of the Day

"The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."

Next Joke
 
"Me: *returns from bakery with a bap, bagel, bun & cob* Wife: What are these? Me: The synonym rolls you asked for. Wife: CINNAMON."
"What did the goat say to his friend after he cut his arm? I'm bleating all over the place!"
"Did you hear the Zodiac is turning himself in? He didn't appreciate the comparisons to Ted Cruz."
"What's the plural of compass? This one's best if you say it out loud. What's the plural of octopus? Octopi. What's the plural of compass? Cumpie."
"What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope? sin or cosine?"
"The water drought in California is so bad, that someone broke into my cousins house and stole his waterbed."
"I just got fired for getting beauty tips online during my lunch break! my Boss said "" Madison Ivy gets a facial"" is not a video on beauty tips."
"Every morning is the dawn of a new error."
"Why don't Italians do bondage? Because they can't say the safeword while they're wearing handcuffs."
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