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Joke of the Day

"What's the plural of compass? This one's best if you say it out loud. What's the plural of octopus? Octopi. What's the plural of compass? Cumpie."

"Why do Jews try avoiding Jewpiter? Because its a gas planet! Its also why Hitlers gas bills were so high. *i intentionally said Jewpiter instead of Jupiter*"

"[sees kid hitting pinata] Me: wow he really hates horses"

"Did you hear about... ...the optometrist who fell in his lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself."

"Why is PTSD like riding a bike? You never forget"

"Telling someone ""You are not alone"" can be either extremely comforting or absolutely creepy depending on the context."

"So what if I can't spell ""Armageddon"" I mean, it's not the end of the world."

"Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."

"What do you call a Chinese baby in the oven? a 2nd born."

"Hey girl, I'm no doctor but I can diagnose your condition... You have acute butt"