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Joke of the Day

"I'll never forget my wife's last words ""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"""

"The oldest joke I know A girl with no arms or legs was sad on the beach. A man walked up and asked what was wrong. She said she'd never been fucked. He threw her in the water and said, ""Now ur fucked"""

"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? Me: Yeah Cop: Oh ok nevermind"

"bro what if soy milk is just regular milk introducing himself in spanish?"

"This guy at the bar yells in my face ""Have you been sleeping with my wife?!""... I said ""No, she's always awake when I'm over there"""

"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."

"Kayne West Knocked Up Kim Kardashian No punchline needed."

"A termite walks into a bar... ... and says, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"Pick up line I put the STD in stud, but all I need is you."

"What does a doctor say to the new father of a stillborn child? Close, but no cigar."