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Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar... ... and says, ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"Why was the bald king so sad? Because he had no heir."

"The Kool-Aid Man seems depressed lately. Let's keep him away from load-bearing walls."

"It's cold Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees."

"Help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they may be connected to the ass that I might have to kiss tomorrow..."

"What does a gay guy and a freezer have in common? Both get packed with meat. I'll show myself out."

"It's orange, it says it's an orange, but it's not an orange. What is it? A tangerine with a big mouth."

"What does it sound like when two old people have sex? Snap, crackle, pop."

"when the ice cream man drives down my street I walk alongside him screaming TAKE ME WITH YOU I WILL BEAR YOU MANY STRONG SONS"

"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""