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Joke of the Day

"The oldest joke I know A girl with no arms or legs was sad on the beach. A man walked up and asked what was wrong. She said she'd never been fucked. He threw her in the water and said, ""Now ur fucked"""

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"A guy finds a genie... He says ""I wish I was better at talking to women."" ""Poof!"" the genie says, ""You're gay!"""
"If you know a clumsy person you secretly wish would die, give them some rollerblades."
"""What'd you do today"" ""Went on a treasure hunt"" ""I hope you mean job hunt"" ""Treasure hunt"" ""You need to find a job"" ""Not if I find treasure"""
"In an alternate universe, the President... is given an attache and told not to press the button inside beyond the most dire circumstances. Instructions nuclear."
"""Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?"" I asked. She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything."
"Your Momma is so classless... She could be a Marxist utopia"
"What's the difference between a woman and a gun You can put a silencer on a gun"
"What's the difference between being hungry and horny? Where you put the cucumber."
"""I thought I'd thaw a pussy cat."" -- dogs deciding what to take out of the freezer for dinner"
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