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Joke of the Day

"1. Read directions on box. 2. Throw box away. 3. Pull box out of the trash 15 seconds later. 4. Repeat."

"""They're meh."" --Tony the Tiger, off his Paxil for a few days"

"That deli has a reputation for sub-par hoagies, ...but the one I had was exactly average."

"Trying not to ask my blind roommate if he masturbated too much."

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph... Because he's not a full essay"

"Why did Serj Tankian cross the road? because he wanted to..."

"In retrospect, the kidnapping was going according to plan until I blew my nose on the rag I'd soaked with chloroform."

"My Girlfriend said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with pointing out obvious escape routes... So I showed her the door."

"Whats the odd one out ? The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination."

"A priest, a rapist, and a pedophile walk into a bar. He orders a drink."