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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris did not ""lose"" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice."

"Why did the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out."

"Every time I have a big bowel movement I say thank you to my digestive system. For putting up with my shit."

"What joke has sebadoh for a punch line? A joke about what kind of dough does an italian use to make seb bread, with really good delivery."

"I met a young fashion designer earlier, and it wasn't long before I was in the bedroom ripping her clothes off. I love counterfeiting stuff"

"Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go"

"I don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television."

"She said yes! Unfortunately, the question was ""Are you sure you want to break up?"""

"Why isn't there a neutron mod in the Skyrim Steam Workshop? Because there'd be no charge."

"Last night I wrote myself a letter. But I forgot to sign it and now I don't know who it's from."