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Joke of the Day

"Every time I have a big bowel movement I say thank you to my digestive system. For putting up with my shit."

"Why did the T-Rex go extinct? He had a reptile dysfunction."

"The ONLY thing I miss about being a teenager is being able to legally punch other teenagers."

"When we catch the people who kill elephants & rhinos, can we pull all their teeth first?"

"Hey, insurance companies instead of having a commercial on TV every 10 minutes can you just cover some of my medical bills?"

"I remember my first internet boyfriend. I was 13, he was 55. <3"

"How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy? He used conditioner on them."

"I just ate a pizza covered in pepperoni and chillies. To be honest, I looked pretty ridiculous."

"So, a squirrel walks into a bar- -k"

"What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling? He likes it dirty."