144762

Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th"

"I once had a job circumcising elephants. The pay sucked, but the tips were big!"

"Sign at funeral home: ALL SALES FINAL"

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"Guys, is it okay that I kinda hate the obsequious rhetorical questions people ask when they want to sound like a wry, world-weary populist?"

"Why did the Seahawks pass the ball? To get to the other side!"

"Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*"

"What do you call a nun with a washing machine on her head? Sister-Matic"

"My girlfriend and I tried playing doctor... She stayed over the weekend and I sent her a bill for $180,000."

"2 little boys are arguing About whose dad has a better job. First says ""mines a Dr."" second says "" well mines a lawyer"" first says in disbelief "" honest? "" second says "" naw the usual kind"""