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Joke of the Day

"What is a pirate's favorite letter? When the person answers ""R"" you say ""You'd think that but me first love be the C."""

"Why was christopher never in the same place? Because he's always Walken"

"Why don't fairies live under toadstools? Because there's not mushroom!"

"Do you like Dragons? Cause I'm gunna be dragon these balls across your face!"

"Maybe she's born with zits, maybe it's methamphetamine"

"Whenever I'm alone, I like to dig a hole in my backyard, remove all my clothes, go inside that hole and pretend that I'm a carrot."

"Why are divers always so nervous? Because they're always under pressure!"

"Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now."

"A lady posted her grandmother's brownie recipe, so I tried making them. Turns out her grandma was a terrible cook"

"what did president abe lincoln call his journal? ...his lincoln logs"