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Joke of the Day
"Why doesn't Rihanna tell her boyfriend jokes anymore? He always beats her to the punchline."
Next Joke
"Alarm company: We need your emergency contact info. Me: (eating chips) My dog doesn't have a cell phone."
"How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest? You tell him... ""that's definitely a win sir"". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose. :/"
"I used to think my neighbors were racist but that thoughtful burning cross they put in my yard proved to be a great source of natural light."
"Why not just say you're feeling thargic, don't be all French about it"
"I named my hard drive That Thang, so once a month my computer asks me if I want to Back That Thang Up."
"I'm throwing a party for people who can't ejaculate... Tell me if you can come."
"Helping my daughter study for her geology exam, and apparently 'hard' 'classic' and 'punk' AREN'T the 3 different types of rock. Who knew."
"Sometimes you need a little distance to see things clearly, but other times it is obviously a bear and you should probably just run"
"Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's? Because omg they can't even."