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Joke of the Day
"My wallet was stolen today... this is the first time I've been sad after losing five pounds."
Next Joke
"*pretends to get electrocuted when I shake your dad's hand for the first time*"
"My favourite punchline is in the joke I tell blind people. They never see it coming."
"A short facts list 1) 50% of facts are made up 2) I made up the first fact"
"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night-First question was What the f*ck are you looking at?"
"What's a jewish man's favourite song? Tanakh Tanakh Tun"
"What do you call a Muslim who is also a pilot? Greg if you're a friend, Gregory if you were introduced, Mr. Abdalla if you're doing business with one another."
"Q: Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? A: Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd be aspirin tablets!"
"the vibrator was invented when Dr Edward Vibrator got extremely chilly whilst shagging Mrs Vibrator and his shivering sent her to cum town"
"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."