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Joke of the Day

"My wallet was stolen today... this is the first time I've been sad after losing five pounds."

"Why are Iranian women always eating? They can't stop getting stoned"

"Rihanna the masochist paparazzi: why did you stay with chris brown? rihanna: beats me"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill am Irishman? Zero."

"4: can you whistle? M: *whistles* 4: Here's a booger. M:... 4: Keep it forever. Have kids they said. It'll be fun they said. Liars."

"What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle? There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math."

"How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!"

"Anybody wanna play Pearl Harbour? I lay down and you blow me to heavens!"

"How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? 2"

"Why did the Cold War never happen? Because Joseph was Stalin."