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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that actress that murdered her husband? Reese...I can't remember her last name. She was in the Johnny Cash movie... *Witherspoon?!?* No...of course not! She used a knife!"

Next Joke
 
"So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone? You skip them both."
"A group of IPhones walk into a bar Bartender: Get out! IPhones: Why? Bartender: I know you don't have any money! IPhones: How? Bartender: Because all you Apple products lost your Jobs years ago!"
"What's the definition of apathy? I don't know, and I don't care."
"When it comes to gay sex, I think the backwards views of my grandfather are disgusting So I might try missionary style with him instead"
"Playing guess the animal with 4yo. 4: it looks like a tiger. Me: a lion? 4: no. Me: leopard? 4: no. Me: i give up 4: it's a tiger"
"Q: If Bill Clinton Hillary Clinton Al Gore and Tipper took a boat ride and the boat capsized who would be saved? A: The United States of America!"
"I would walk over Lego's for you."
"Whosoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble... You have my Word."
"I don't drink for religious reasons. I drink for other reasons."