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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech? Someone who takes everything literally"

"What does it taste like when you eat out an old woman? *shrug* Depends."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat? She can use your wifes clothes"

"What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear? Thanks for the refill. "

"Grandma got bussy.... I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"A farmer asked me for help with his chickens He said ""I have 87 chickens, can you help me round them up?"" I said ""Sure... 90."""

"My cousin's shoe store burned down yesterday There were so many lost soles."

"Your momma is so fat that her measurements are 26-34-28 and her other arm is just as big!"

"Did you hear about the guy who couldn't afford vanity plates? He had to change his name to J3X CY4"

"""Jesus loves you."" A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison."